In Case You Were Wondering…

The following is a list of reasons on why President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize:

1. He’s black.
2. He replaced Bush.
3. He apologized for America.
4. He had an omelet for breakfast this morning.
5. Oprah Winfrey really, really, really likes him.
6. Rush Limbaugh despises him.
7. He showed up on Jay Leno.
8. The International Olympic Committee hurt his feelings.
9. He made promises, and BY GOLLY he’s going to keep them.
10. Saturday Night Live needs to get it’s facts straight.
11. Capitalism is evil.
12. You’re racist.
13. His wife has the right to bare arms.
14. He’s black.
15. Because we said so, that’s why!

I hope this clears some things up.

From right and left, questions about peace prize

I’m not going to say anything, just note Charles Babington’s deadpan sarcasm in the opening paragraph.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091009/ap_on_go_pr_wh/us_obama_nobel_us_reaction

But since he’s not FOX news, Yahoo’s obviously perfectly fair and balanced in it’s reporting.

GOP backing off scolding Democrat over rhetoric

The Democrat Party is willing to let those without sin cast the first stone.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_congressman_harsh_rhetoric

“You lie!”

“Death camps”

Break out the hurling stones if you hear any of the above statements.

“Die quickly”

Ignore it.  I’m sure it was a mis-quote.

Dems: GOP Rooting Against America

http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20091005/pl_politico/27902

Oh, snaps.

They finally figured it out.  Yes, we admit it.  We’re all a bunch of Nazis who’ve smuggled across the border in an effort to take down this country. 

All of that patriotism during the aftermath of 9/11?  Yes, it was all just a big show.  We really hate this country and everything it stands for.  F*ck the first amendment, and f*ck freedom.

By the way, Michael Moore was right.  We really did make up that whole story about the Taliban.  It was all just a very well done conspiricy in order to invade Iraq and spread our racist ideals.

Yes, I’m being sarcastic.

Let’s set some things straight:

1.  The reason we want Obama’s plan to fail is because we believe that if it succeeds, it will ruin the country.
2. The reason we’re happy Chicago lost the Olympics bid is because we like the idea of the Obamas (as well as the media) getting an ego check.  Hopefully, they now know that they can’t convince everyone of anything just by putting on a big production number.  That, and South America has never hosted the olympics before, so it’s nice to give them the oppurtunity.
3. The reason that we’re pointing out that the economy is still doing poorly is because IT’S STILL DOING POORLY.  You can’t use grass shoots to try to convince us that throwing money at the problem is working.  Even if it does work, it’s a short-term solution.  Trust me, we’re going to get it in the bud 10 years from now.
4. With this talk of limiting our constitutional rights (we can’t own guns, protest higher taxes, speak out against the government without being called racist, etc.) seceding might not seem like such a bad idea.  There’s no point in staying in America if it doesn’t have any of the ideals it was built upon anymore.

We still love America.  We just don’t like this Oceania you’re trying to set up.